The idea is that just “telling the truth” to others because we feel they need to hear it may not be the great idea we might think it is. If you tell someone the “truth” (which is often just someone’s opinion about something) and you hurt their feelings in the process, then where’s the love? The “truth” is that if we go around blatantly sling our “truths” around hurting people, then probably it is not about telling the truth, as much as it is about trying to sound like we are better than others, and we want them no know it.
Once a dear member of my church showed up in her new hat. It was the most horrendous thing I had ever seen. She walked over to me and asked me what I thought about her new hat. I glanced at the horrid thing once again, and back at her. I began my lie by telling her that it was the most unique that I had ever seen and that she seemed very happy wearing it. I quickly made an excuse to go into another part of the church, leaving with a huge smile on her face. You may judge me about “lying” and being a pastor and all. My only answer is that I will always choose to lie under those same circumstances. I will not willingly choose to hurt someone, just because I want to “tell the truth.” If I cannot tell the truth “in love” then I don’t want to tell the truth.
I once heard someone say, “Love me or hate me, I always speak the truth.” Then I heard him belittle and abuse another person with his version of the “truth.” I will admit that some of what he said was “true,” but some of what he said was actually his opinion disguised as the truth He, of course, would argue that it was all true. But, my opinion is that if your truth just hurts others and has no redeeming value (such as when you confront someone who is doing wrong), then your “truth” no matter how true, is just a hateful, venomous, attack on some unwitting individual.
Let’s confront wrong with the clear and unadulterated truth, but never do that without including love in the mix. This way you will get the “truth” across to someone else, and they will walk away having learned something that might even make their life better. We shouldn’t let people’s feelings control us, but we should also not be careless with the feelings of others. God bless you and remember, tell the truth in love.
