Unveiling the Power of Prayer
A Practical Guide to Personal Transformation

Prayer holds a fascinating power through faith. In this article, we will delve into the practical mechanics of prayer, exploring its transformative potential for individuals seeking personal growth and well-being. By following a logical progression of events, thoughts, and emotions, we can unlock the true benefits of prayer and harness its power in our lives. Regardless of religious beliefs, understanding the process of prayer can lead to profound positive change, increased self-awareness, and a deeper connection with ourselves and the world around us.

100 Bible Study Prompts to use with ChatGPT

If you use ChatGPT for your Bible study, you can use the following prompts. This will cause ChatGPT to focus on a specific topic, issue, research, or discussion you want to have. Prompts are important for using ChatGPT. The clearer your prompts, the better output you will get. No matter how much you hear about AI being able to think, it still cannot read your mind. The clearer you are about the questions or comments you make, the better the response you will get. Knowing this will make your Bible Study experience much more effective and enjoyable.

General Topic Super Prompt for Bible Study

This prompt will cause the ChatGPT to become more collaborative with you, be more specific in its information and answers, and be more “qualified” to provide you with the answers and data it provides.

Christianity and ChatGPT (AI)

AI is here, and it’s not going to go away. So many of the tools we use today, like cell phones, Google searches, and so on, use AI. You use Ai through many of the devices you interact with on a daily basis. But, there is one tool that can prove to be helpful for Christians in their study of the Word of God. In this article, we will take a look at it. Just be careful because it knows how to look back.

Rules I Live By

You probably got it all together, but I do not. I grew up an angry person and have had to learn to give myself a healthy structure to follow. The following rules are the foundation of my manner of managing my anger. Plus, it helps when dealing with Idiots.

Should We Be Scared Of God?

There may well be a reason for the answer to be Yes. God is an alien, extra-terrestrial, all-powerful being that can impact your life in any manner He wishes, and there is nothing you can do about it.

The Renewing of Your Mind

As children and adolescents, we grow and navigate through the experiences of our youth with limited observability and capacity for understanding the whole picture. We walk through moments in our lives accumulating habits and responses to events, traumas, and situations, all the while unknowingly creating long-lasting responses that will influence us well into our adulthood.

What Does Love Look Like?

What do you think about when you think of love? What do you feel inside? Is it a warm feeling, or do you have ideas of happiness and good times in your head? I have counseled people for over 31 years, and I have found that what people call love, for the most part, is nothing close to a good thing.

Expository Apologetics

Expository Apologetics is a tool that many believers should have in their “back pocket.” Still, unfortunately, it is not taught in many of the churches that believers attend. The lack of this teaching is an issue, and it needs correction. Most believers can tell you what church they attend and what song the worship team sings is their favorite but can’t tell you what they believe about the God they worship and why they believe in Him.

Searching

Do you feel like you are “at home” with God? No, I don’t mean that I want you to give me the “right” answer. You, know, I mean, what are you supposed to say? If you say “No,” that will sound like you’re not a “good” Christian, right. But, when I ask if you feel like you are at ‘home’ with God,” I am not asking for a theological answer. I am asking you to tell me what you feel deep down in your heart.

By His Stripes, We Are Healed?

Donald, who reads posts on our website, wrote and asked me to consider analyzing 1 Peter 2:24. At first, I looked at all the work I presently have and thought about politely declining the idea. But, as I read the verses, I was intrigued with the passage’s message.

How to Study Your Bible in Ten Steps

Remember that you will be studying a Bible, not just an ordinary book. This book has the contents of all the knowledge that God Himself wanted to share with His creation. Approach your study with the awe and respect it deserves.

Overwhelmed or Taking-On-Too-Much

It is the popular word these days is overwhelmed.
You will hear it often from people who are experiencing various types of occurrences.

God’s Plan For Eternity

God wrote a book called the “Lamb’s Book of Life” and included into it the names of all those persons who would end up with Him at the end of His plan. Those in this book, He elected to be saved and predestinated them to become like His Son, our Lord, Christ Jesus. God created the Heavens. He created Lucifer and all the other Angels. And much more …

Writing and Research

Are you passionate about a topic and want to share your knowledge? The writing and research article is a great resource to help you write about your topic.

Conversing with Billy

Interesting conversation between two individuals whose view of God differs.

The Invisible Curtain

 This term means to me the idea where someone wants something to not be true so badly that they choose to ignore real evidence just so that their own perspective will seem more credulous. They do not want to believe the truth so much so that they choose not to see the facts, therefore “invisible.” I also called it a curtain, because it reminded me of when I was a child. Several of us had to sleep in the same room due to financial circumstances. So the way someone could get their own “room,” was to hang up a blanket, sheet, or curtain, to divide the room. A sheet does not truly separate a room, but because a curtain is hanging there, everyone pretends there is a real separation.  

Prayer

What does the Bible have to say about prayer?

 

The Road To Today

Life, it seems, has been leading us to a specific point. Good choices and dire circumstances and situations, ups and downs, and so on, have contributed to where you find yourself today. You were not born rich or poor, happy or sad, wise or foolish, and again, so on. You began with a blank slate and have since painted the life you now live, stroke by stroke.

Is It Racism or Bad Police Officers?

Do we have a problem with the police in how they handle issues with the black community as such? Do blacks have a higher chance of confrontation and death at the hands of the police? Is there a “systematic” or “Institutional” problem, or is it that there are just some “bad” cops? If we are genuinely having a problem with our police officers due to policies and procedures, then there is no question that those need changing. To reach the right answers, we have to begin with the right questions.

A Letter From Nick

Nick is a reader of Practical Counseling that wrote in with a question about wanting to serve God but failing to do so. Pastor Juan shared an answer with him.

Three Things That Will Change Your Financial Life

While we are no longer under any obligation to tithe, God still keeps His Word with those who covenant with Him in their tithes. We should tithe, not because we are supposed to, but rather because we want God’s protection and blessings.

“But, Shingles are for old people!”

Prior to my bout with Shingles, I heard about them on TV in advertisements. The little that did stick made me believe that it was something that affected old people only, so I didn’t pay much attention at all. On the 29th of January, I asked my wife to take me to the ER due to pains in my lower back which seemed to grow and grow. My assumption was that I might be having problems with my kidneys and that scared me. The pain I was feeling was growing and becoming unbearable. At the hospital, they did tests on me and the doctor diagnosed me with “muscle spasms.” I was given an injection for the pain and a prescription for Valium.

Servanthood

You are going to find this strange, but … I don’t really like “people.” Individuals, as such, are okay, but not “people.” I like my wife and my favorite grandson. My other close relatives I “love,” especially in the sense that I don’t want harm to come to them, and I hope for the best for them. My actual inclination when it comes to “people” is to avoid them. I much more prefer to get into my study and write a book or an article, play a video game, pray, study the Bible, surf the web, or any of many other self-satisfying activities.

Discipline and Grievance Policy

I have included this portion of the New Life Outreach of Dallas, Inc., Policies, and Procedures. I have removed our church name from the document so that you may find it useful. Just replace YOUR CHURCH to the name of your church and they will be applicable after your church approves them. Please feel free to make any modifications or improvements that you feel necessary. You have our permission to use and modify these policies.

The Ungrowing Church

One of the main functions of the New Life Christian Counseling Ministry, besides our primary service as counselors to the general public, is to provide small churches and other ministries “counseling” as well. By this I mean we work with a church or ministry for up to one year, helping them with much-needed resources. For example, too many small churches (especially newer ones) have little to no experience in dealing with incorporating their ministry, resolving issues with the State Comptroller’s office, the creation and implementation of organizational by-laws, and the correct filing procedures for their 501(c)3 IRS tax exemption status.

Adultery In The Church?

As a counselor, I am never surprised when a client comes in complaining that their spouse committed adultery. The times which there comes some form of surprise is when a pastor’s wife comes complaining of the same. Pastors are for the most part seen as men (and women) who hold themselves accountable to their spouses, church, and, of course, God.

 

Who Do You Inspire?

Over the last 30 years, I have discipled or mentored many persons, male and female, Latinos, blacks and whites, young and old, Christians. Paul saw it as an obligation and an honor. He makes this clear in how he states the following verses.
1 Corinthians 11:1 (NASB) Be imitators of me, just as I also am of Christ.

Who Am I?

What an amazing feeling is to be able, at one point of our existence, to wonder about the purpose of our life. To ask our Creator why, if at all, we are occupying space in this awesome universe He created. At an early age of my life I confronted myself with what I thought was a very important question; a question I believe everybody asks or should ask as well, “Who am I?” That age when one starts questioning almost everything one sees or is told to do. That age that I am sure is not the same in everybody’s case since all of us are affected and shaped by the environment in which we lived.

What Is Your Doctrine?

Imagine that you woke up in a world where magic was normal. As you went about your day you quickly realized that people were using magic as though it was natural. People were making objects move without touching them. People were making things appear and disappear, seemingly without any surprise or any special attention to the goings-on. You start wondering how they are doing what they are doing and wondering if maybe you also can do magic. You finally stop someone and ask them how they are doing magic? The person you speak to stares at you confused and asks, “What do you mean?”

Self-Will

“I’m not sure I believe anymore!” These were the words of a young wife who came to see me for counseling. Her husband of a few years had left her for someone else, and she was angry and mortified at the prospect of divorce. “Can’t God just make him get right?” she cried. She grew up in a church where she heard and was taught that God, not only could but would, help His “children” resolve and fix all their problems. She cried saying that her pastor would always tell the congregation that no matter what the problem was, you just had to “trust in Jesus,” and God would work things out.

Passion Makes Life Better

Have you ever struggled with keeping your word on something? A diet, maybe? As a counselor, I have pondered this question many times. The question is, “Why is it we do some things passionately, while continually failing to do other things? The question of dieting is one of these areas. Many persons make a decision to diet for health reasons. They believe they must diet, and not just for vanity. The problem is that even though they may start off with the full intention of succeeding, they will too often fail along the way. Why? No passion.

When Is Your Child No Longer A Child?

One phenomenon which I do not believe is solely a Latino problem is that of how we deal with our adult children. As a counselor, I have been invited to many churches to speak on this subject. The reason they invite me is not that they just want to learn about the intricacies of dealing with adult “children,” but because the problem is prevalent within the church environment.

 

Ten Commandments Of Counseling

Remember and use the principles you learned in your training classes.

• • “People do what they do because they believe what they believe.”
  • “Where there are no consequences, there is permission.”
  • “Change is not change, until there has been change.”
  • And more.

People Do What They Do Because They Believe What They Believe

The battle for control of the person is in the mind. Every person follows a pattern. The pattern they follow began early in their lives. The pattern could be the result of trauma and distress, or a loving and healthy environment. In either case, the reality is that a pattern was established. Patterns are developed due to intentional, random, or event-based reinforcement. 

 

In It For The Praise

First responders are recognized, police officers are applauded, our military is loved, people who raise money for cancer are honored, and so forth, but counselors must maintain their work private. As a counselor, I have ministered to hundreds of people for thousands of hours over the last thirty years.  And, who knows about it? Well, the clients, those who have heard about it at some of my seminars and conferences, my friends and close acquaintances, my children and my wife. Will they be giving me any awards for the years of service to others? Nope. As well, they shouldn’t!

How Are Counselors Like Cops?

I was speaking with a police officer I know and we reached a point in our conversation where we compared our professions. Though I do not arrest anyone, there are some similarities. Among those was that we both tend to deal with people at their worst times. In his case, as with many other peace officers, he faces people who commit an offense of one type or another. Often, they try to lie to him to get out of the consequences.

Healing Through Forgiveness

So long as the person continues to allow the traumas and abuses of the past to impact their present method of decision making they will never heal and remain a “victim” of the past. At some point, they must decide that they are tired of living with hurt and anger. The first step to healing is deciding to take whatever steps are required to heal, no matter how hard they may seem.

Do You As A Counselor Pass the Test?

In chapter 2 of the book of Revelation, in the first seven verses, Jesus sends a message to the church at Ephesus. In this message, He makes one interesting statement, among the rest. (NASB, verse 2) “I know your deeds and your toil and perseverance, and that you cannot tolerate evil men, and you put to the test those who call themselves apostles, and they are not, and you found them to be false.” It caught my attention that the Lord indicated that there is a way to “test” church and ministry leadership.

Changing the Pattern

IF YOU WANT THE SAME OLD THINGS TO KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU, THEN KEEP DOING THE SAME OLD THINGS.

1. For things to continue the way they’ve always been, do nothing different.
2. Change is not change until there has been change.
3. Hoping for change will change nothing.
4. Knowing the right thing to do, but not doing it, is the same as choosing the wrong thing to do on purpose.
5. Trying is not the same as doing.

Principles Used In Christian Counseling

The following are many of the principles used in counseling. What should be obvious is that this list is not all-inclusive. Other principles used by other counselors may not have made this list. That only means that we did not have that principle, or were aware of it, to include it here.

 

What Is My “Calling” In Life?

This is one of the most asked questions by new believers. Implied in the question is that someone other than yourself will have the answer which, on the contrary, you are the best one to provide. The reason the questioner is unable to come to a clear conclusion and understanding of their calling is that they are asking the question with preconceived notions of the answer.

The Truth About Half-Truths

The word “hate” here is intended to give the idea that a disciple of Jesus must always choose Him First over everyone else.

In other words, you must love Him so much that in comparison, it will almost seem as though you hate others in your life. He must be the highest priority.

Telling The Truth, “In Love”

The idea is that just “telling the truth” to others because we feel they need to hear it may not be the great idea we might think it is. If you tell someone the “truth” (which is often just someone’s opinion about something) and you hurt their feelings in the process, then where’s the love? The “truth” is that if we go around blatantly sling our “truths” around hurting people, then probably it is not about telling the truth, as much as it is about trying to sound like we are better than others, and we want them no know it.

Words Of Emptiness

I had a discussion with a fellow Christian one day, and I unpleasantly surprised by what I realized about him. I have known this man for many years, so I am quite familiar with his life, personal choices, and results of many of these in his life. I happened to be with him when he was arguing religion with another Christian. His arguments were actually solid and Biblically based. By that, I mean that I could not find any Scriptural problem with what he was professing. The problem is that I know him.

 

Stop Playing The Game

One of my brothers called me one day. I could tell from his voice that he seemed stressed a bit. “You doing anything?” he asked. “Nope,” I answered, “just watching TV.” “Oh, he said, “I heading for a doctor’s appointment.” “Oh, yeah?” I responded, and added, “I hate doctor’s appointments.” He was quiet for a moment and said, “Yeah… I have to be there in an hour.” “Oh,” I said, “I guess you’d better hurry.” He was quiet again for a moment and then said, “Well, I guess I’d better let you get back to your TV, you wouldn’t want to miss anything important.” “Okay,” I answered, and we hung up.

How Jesus Discipled

Share – Jesus shared who He was through words and deeds.
Connect – When people accepted his message, He invited them to connect with him in a relationship.
Minister – As these disciples matured, Jesus trained them to minister to the lost and to his other followers.
Disciple – Finally, after Jesus rose from the dead, he deployed His followers to disciple others.

Biblical Application Process

The Biblical Application Process is a systematic and logical approach to discovering how things work according to the Scriptures.

When conducting research, Bible Scholars use the Biblical Application Process method to collect measurable, empirical evidence in an experiment related to a truth (often in the form of an if/then statement), the results aiming to support or contradict a belief.

Why Do Some Believers Have Trouble Obeying God?

Why do some people struggle so much living the Christian life as they understand the Lord wants from them? They tell themselves that they want to do what is “right,” but they find themselves often going against this desire, and giving in to baser urges. As a counselor, I have often had people in my office who have struggled or may be presently struggling, with such things as drug addiction, overeating, pornography, alcoholism, and other similar debilitating habits.

Jesus Was Human!

The religious side of me cringes at reading that statement, but the practical part of me says, “Of course He was!” One of the dichotomies Christians struggle with is the idea that Jesus was fully human (while still being God). Often when the subject comes up I tell people that I love Jesus, but that Paul is my Biblical hero. Why? Because he not only was human but was not God at all. Paul eluded to his humanity often. He called himself the “worst” sinner (1 Timothy 1:15). Now that is something with which I can immediately relate.

How To “Hear” The Voice Of God

What can keep you from hearing God’s voice?
Here are only 11 reasons.

1. Not seeking it often enough.
2. Distracted by a crisis or a major issue.
3. Predetermined answer or outcome.
4. Not wanting to hear from God.
5. and more.

I Belong To Jesus

Many times when Christians make assertions such as this, they are actually making the statements tongue-in-cheek. “Trust God,” Keep your eyes on Jesus,” “Do what Jesus would,” and many other phrases we use are similar. They mean something, but often the speaker is just quoting the phrase as a way of attempting to convey a message. The problem is once a phrase is used too often, it begins to lose its power.

A Love-Hate Relationship with God?

A “Love-Hate” relationship with God. This may seem like a strange phrase. Webster defines a “love-hate relationship” as, “strong feelings of both love and hatred for someone.”  Is it possible to have two strong opposing feelings toward God?  Yes. How could these feelings develop and can they coexist?  A way to understand this is by studying the parent-child relationship. God is the parent and we are the children. Children will display moments of joy, praises, and affection toward the parent when happy things are happening in their lives.

Are You A Liar?

At the core of who I am, what makes me be me, is that I am a man of my Word. There is nothing more important to me than recognition as such, and that my word is taken seriously. For anyone to question that, they are questioning my concept of what is my essence, in my opinion. To be someone who is trusted is paramount to me. I have spent the last 34 years of my life earning the right to be trusted and believed. If someone questions my veracity, they are essentially asserting that I am a liar and cannot or should not be trusted. For someone, anyone, to question that of me, they must produce valid evidence on my part to deceive others.

Words of Emptiness

I had a discussion with a fellow Christian one day, and I was unpleasantly surprised by what I realized about him. I have known this man for many years, so I am quite familiar with his life, personal choices, and results of many of these in his life. I happened to be with him when he was arguing religion with another Christian. His arguments were actually solid and Biblically based. By that, I mean that I could not find any Scriptural problem with what he was professing. The problem is that I know him. The way he argued his points would cause anyone listening to him to assume that he was a man who lived by the principles he espoused.

Advance Counseling Course: Financial Counseling

There seem to be three main areas that cause marital strife, Finances, sex, and religion. Many young couples do not understand the necessity to know each other and seek counseling before marriage, therefore run into problems when the “newness” of the marriage wears off. Once they take off the “rose-colored” glasses and reality starts to sink in, they often find many incompatibilities that should have been discussed prior to the marriage vows.

Faith-Based Christian Counseling; Are You Qualified?

Depending on whom you ask, you will get different answers on what actually qualifies one to become a counselor. Those persons who have taken the time made the effort, and paid the financial costs to go to college will argue that the steps they took are the correct and only steps to qualify. I cannot and will not argue for or against their point, but I will say that I respect their choice to go to college and earn their degrees. I attended college, I got my degree, but I believe that there is also another workable option.

What is Christian Counseling Really, Anyway?

“Counseling is indeed an ambiguous enterprise. It is done by persons who can’t agree on what to call themselves, what credentials are necessary to practice, or even what the best way is to practice—whether to deal with feelings, thoughts, or behaviors; whether to be primarily supportive or confrontational; whether to focus on the past or the present. Further, the consumers of counseling services can’t exactly articulate what their concerns are, what counseling can and can’t do for them, or what they want when it’s over.” (Kottler & Brown, 1996)

What Steps Should You Follow to Get Started as a Counselor?

My strongest recommendation to you is to find an organization or ministry that will offer training in this area. Yes, it will probably cost some money, but it will be worth it. On the other hand, I want to warn you away from groups that offer “weekend” training and certification. Without a doubt, I can tell you (after about 30 years of experience as a counselor) that nobody can train effectively as a counselor in just one weekend. Yes, you will find these type of groups, and they will “certify” you as a counselor, but, my experience over many years is that the vast majority of people who get the weekend training/certification actually do not go on to real counseling.

Handling the Session with Good Interviewing Skills

It is important that the counselor always listen, not just to what the client is saying, but how they say what they are saying. Careful listening skills can lead the counselor to identify the root of a problem, and not be sidetracked by the complainant.
Listen to what they say . . . Clients will often unknowingly guide you in how to interview them by the things they say.

The New Life Christian Counseling Map (A Format to Follow)

While there will probably never be a single “format” to follow with every client in exactly the same manner, haphazard counseling can prove ineffective for the counselor and disastrous for the client. Failure is not an acceptable outcome for either the counselor or the client. Therefore, to have the highest expectancy of success we need a clear working theory to follow, a process that allows for individual input while dictating a specified course, and certain specific techniques that to follow faithfully in every case, situation, and circumstance. This method will provide the capability for the counselor to self-evaluate by using measurable data and not rely solely on personal emotional criteria to decide progress and success.

Using the Principles wisely in Counseling

Counsel in the heart of man is like deep water, but a man of understanding will draw it out. Proverbs 20:5 (KJV). Scripture is full of practical and useful counsel on how to manage our lives. The Bible provides much immediate and practical instruction. Your job as a Christian Counselor is to learn these truths and learn how to use them in your counseling.

Not all truths have specific verses associated with them. Often you arrive at truth when you study verses, passages and/or stories found throughout the Bible. The combination of these will lead us to understand certain and specific truths for our lives, these truths are the principles.

The Church and Security

It is time for churches to take action and prepare for the worst so they can avoid it if possible. Church shootings are the most well-known dangers that are probable, but many other dangers still plague churches. Below I list on some of the shootings in a church, but below that, I will also give some additional information on other dangers and problem areas.

 

Counseling and Your Personal Life

The tendency on your part will be to give more and more to your counseling. I will agree that you have to be ready to make a real sacrifice, and put the necessary effort and time into your ministry. I also say that you have to learn to balance that with other important things in your life, especially your family and marriage if you are married. Counseling will make a big demand on you, but you must control how much and what you give. Give your best, but give carefully. Pray before you go into your counseling session (and as often as you remember). Pray after the session, as well. Pray away those “spirits” that will want to attach themselves to you. Pray even when you don’t feel the need. You can use all the prayer you can get.

Your relationship with God

There is nothing that will prepare you for a real, effective, healthy, productive, successful, and meaningful counseling ministry as much as developing a real and personal relationship with the Lord. Your strength will come from Him. Your wisdom and discernment, without which you are of no use to anyone at all, will come from Him. Those times of rest, when counseling drains you to your very soul, comes from Him. He is your all in all, and there will never be a substitute.

What Does It Mean To Love Jesus?

Pastor John Piper said, “If you don’t love Jesus, you don’t love God, and if you don’t love God you don’t love Jesus.” I came across a dilemma, not long ago. I questioned myself about my love for the Lord. I asked myself what it meant to love God. Was it some feeling I was supposed to have or was it solely to be proven in obedience? In John 14:15, Jesus said, “If you love me you will keep my commandments.” In other words, He said, you will show me that you love me if you do as I have commanded you. Was He saying that obedience alone demonstrated my love for Him, or was He saying that because I did love Him I would obey Him?

What Is A Christian?

I will attempt to give a generally good description of who we are, as compared to what others say about us. There is NO one definition for all of us. The all-encompassing word, Christian, is used as though it clearly identifies a specific group of people. It does not. Here are some examples of what I mean.

Cognitive Distortions

Understanding the problem to understand the solution. People do the things they do because they BELIEVE the things they believe. This is the key principle for the counselor to use in guiding the client to a healthy mental and spiritual life. However, to ignore this principle is akin to running around in circles but expecting to go down a straight road anyway. It will not make sense. You cannot fix a problem that you do not know exists. Once you identify a faulty belief, for example, then you are better able to identify the distorted thinking process (relating to that belief) and replace the faulty belief with the truth. It is putting the truth into practice that will actually bring about the necessary changes in the client. Therefore, we will consider ten beliefs that adversely affect people.

Stop Playing The Game

One of my brothers called me one day. I could tell from his voice that he seemed stressed a bit. “You doing anything?” he asked. “Nope,” I answered, “just watching TV.” “Oh, he said, “I’m heading for a doctor’s appointment.” “Oh, yeah?” I responded, and added, “I hate doctor’s appointments.” He was quiet for a moment and said, “Yeah… I have to be there in an hour.” “Oh,” I said, “I guess you’d better hurry.” He was quiet again for a moment and then said, “Well, I guess I’d better let you get back to your TV, you wouldn’t want to miss anything important.” “Okay,” I answered, and we hung up.

An Immigrant’s Story

This is an email sent to me by a precious person who also was a client of mine a while back. I wanted to share this story with you to give you a glimpse into the struggle that many Mexican immigrants have as they enter and live in the United States. I changed some details (names and such) which would identify the person, but the story is real. – @PastorJuan

Choosing A Church

People choose churches based on various things, as you know. In my opinion, the list includes the following in this order:

1. Location– If someone can find a church that includes all, or most of, the rest of this list, they will go to that church first.
2. Doctrine – People can, and do, ignore closer located churches, if, one that is further away adheres to their doctrinal choices.

What Does Love Feel Like?

While sitting through the movie, “The Shack,” along with my wife, I was struck with an odd idea. Well, to be honest, odd to me. The main character was going through a dilemma that tore at his very soul. On the one hand, he blamed himself for the death of his daughter, and on the other hand, he was angry with God for not saving her life. The main point, I think, at least regarding him, was that he was blinded to what he was really struggling with because his anger and bitterness kept getting in the way. The “odd” idea which came to me was whether I was going through something similar.

 

A Happy Marriage – The Elusive Dream For Many

As a counselor of 30 years, I have had the opportunity to speak at many marriage seminars, retreats, and other similar gatherings. On top of that, I have counseled hundreds of persons, as well as many couples, regarding their marriages. I have come to the conclusion that those of us who do choose to get married, do so with a dream in mind that often turns out to be elusive.

 

“I’m Not Sure I Believe Anymore!”

These were the words of a young wife who came to see me for counseling. Her husband of a few years had left her for someone else, and she was angry and mortified at the prospect of divorce. “Can’t God just make him get right?” she cried. She grew up in the church where she heard and was taught that God not only could but would help His “children” resolve and fix all their problems.

 

Did Jesus Make Mistakes?

The answer to this question is not a simple “yes,” or “no.” A religiously motivated person will have no problem instantly shouting “No!” to the question, at the top of his or her lungs. On the other hand, those of us who have actually read the Word and consider it’s teaching will understand that while Jesus is fully God, He was also fully human. Humans make mistakes. Mistakes are not “sins” in the “I willingly choose to disobey the Father” variety. To come to a Biblical and healthy, as well as not heretical, understanding of this subject, we must consider a couple of things:

Adult and Minor Children – How to handle problems

Helping is doing something for someone that he is not capable of doing himself. Enabling is doing for someone things that he could and should be doing himself.

 

How Do You Know?

During a recent conversation with a fellow Christian who was arguing that he wanted to start digging deeper into the things of God, I challenged him with what seemed a simple question.
I asked him, “Do you believe that the earth is spinning at 1,000 miles per hour?”
He paused a moment and answered, “Everyone knows the earth spins.”
“How do you know that for certain?” I asked.

Blind Leading the Blind

The problem with spiritual blindness is that those who are spiritually blind don’t know it. This is why we are exhorted in the Word to make a self-examination. (See 2 Corinthians 13:5 (NASB), “Test yourselves to see if you are in the faith; examine yourselves! Or do you not recognize this about yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you – unless indeed you fail the test?”

 

Does evil exist?

PracticalCounseling.Com recently received an email for Pastor Juan Pérez. In it, the person asked an important question that deserves a review. Here is the question, and Pastor Juan’s answer.

 

Put to the Test

In chapter 2 of the book of Revelation, in the first seven verses, Jesus sends a message to the church at Ephesus. In this message, He makes one interesting statement, among the rest. (NASB, verse 2) “I know your deeds and your toil and perseverance, and that you cannot tolerate evil men, and you put to the test those who call themselves apostles, and they are not, and you found them to be false.” It caught my attention that the Lord indicated that there is a way to “test” church and ministry leadership.

 

The “Mind” of Christ?

An article I recently read spoke about “mental models which are used “to view the world.” It went on to say, “These mental models are not reality. They are tools used to view reality. They are our perspective on life.”

 

Words of “Affirmation?”

A while back, I had the opportunity to discuss the topic of “positive affirmation” with a fellow believer. Her argument was that she was not receiving an adequate amount of positive affirmation from people in her life. She stated that her “love language” was “Words of Affirmation.” There are “officially” 5 ways to express or receive love (it is explained): the 5 “love languages.”

 

Life Sucks And Then You Die!

Great title, right? It got your attention. But more important than that, to many people that is the truth. Life has not been good for many thousands, if not millions or people worldwide. All that anyone has to do is turn on the news channel and you will hear of atrocities, death, violence, war, terrorism, and so on. Bullying is rampant in American schools. The suicide rate among teenagers is high. Husbands batter and abuse their wives. The war of drugs is losing.

 

Your House is On Fire!

Lessons We Learned From a House Fire
On 12 April 2013, I was driving to a restaurant with my brother and his wife for breakfast. As we drove, I received a call from my youngest son, who was waiting to go to the Navy to begin his enlistment. His words chilled me, “The house is on fire.”

 

Counselors Like King Solomon

First Kings 3:16-28, tells a story of two women who came before King Solomon. Each was claiming that a certain baby was theirs. What had happened, was that one of the women accidentally killed her baby by rolling over on it during the night. When she awoke and saw what she has done, she went and exchanged her dead baby with a living one of another woman. When the other mother realized what happened, she searched for and found her baby in the custody of the other. The situation grew to the point it was brought before King Solomon.

A Happy Marriage – The Elusive Dream For Many

As a counselor of 30 years, I have had the opportunity to speak at many marriage seminars, retreats, and other similar gatherings. On top of that, I have counseled hundreds of persons, as well as many couples, regarding their marriages. I have come to the conclusion that those of us who do choose to get married, do so with a dream in mind that often turns out to be elusive.

 

 

How Do You Know?

From the first day you entered a school class, you were faced with a globe of the earth. The concept of a round earth was immediately implanted in your mind, and then it has been reinforced continuously since then. We hear about space, and trips to the moon, and possibly other planets. We are told the earth spins around at 1,000 miles per hour, and 67,000 miles per hour around the sun, and over hundreds of thousands of miles per hour through the Milky Way Galaxy. We are told that nothing existed, but that the nothing exploded and, due to that, we now have a universe. I could keep on going with all that we have been taught, and we have accepted all of that with little to no real proof. If the scientists say it is true, we accepted it as truth. You can go outside this very moment, look up into the sky, and if you pay attention to your natural senses alone, you will notice nothing that proves the earth is spinning. Yet, regardless of what your senses tell you, your mind will argue that the earth is spinning. Why? Because that is what you already believe.

Getting Lost In The Story

New counselors have one bad habit they must work on to become better counselors. They must learn not to get lost in the story.  By this, I mean that the counselor will get so focused on what the client tells them is going on, or that the counselor begins to side with one person over the other. In either case, the counselor has become less effective as of that moment. Good and healthy counseling requires that the counselor be objective when dealing with opposing points of view. When counselors choose sides, they are no longer the best counselor in the case. As well, when the counselor gets all focused on the client’s story, he or she is in danger of choosing sides, or at the very least, may start jumping to conclusions before he or she has all the needed data.

Unconditional love? I’d Rather You LIKED Me!

We are instructed to “love” one another, but we don’t have to like anybody. In the Bible, the word used as love has three Greek meanings; Eros, Phileo, and Agape. I will not go into all the translation details in this article. You can “google” “Greek words for love,” and get plenty of information on the subject. My point, though, is to emphasize that there is no one way to “love” others, and that depending on the way you are “loving” someone else, there are conditions.

 

 

8 Marital Principles That Can Work, Starting Today

Are you struggling with that hard-headed husband who seems to never grow up? Does your wife sometimes make you wish you weren’t married? Does he constantly make promises and then not keep his word? Has she been going on spending binges, when you have bills that have not been paid? Are you unhappy with the way some things are in your marriage? Today you will get answers that CAN force a change in your married life if you’re brave enough to use them.

Do you REALLY take time to pray?

The question of prayer has long been an obstacle over which I have had to prevail. No, not that I have had problems with whether we should pray or not, that has been made clear in the Bible. We are instructed to pray always (1 Thessalonians 5:17) and for everything (1 Timothy 6:17). The problem I struggled with for many years is that of when, how, for how long, and for what to pray.

 

Savior, But Not Lord!

Not long ago, while counseling a client, I came to a conclusion I had not thought about before. The client was struggling with “trying” to follow the process I was counseling but kept failing. The client was struggling with the desire to view pornography and the desire to be a “good” Christian, at the same time. He and I began the counseling months ago by exploring various possibilities of why he got started and why he continues. Each aspect we discovered and dealt with helped him to understand another part of his character, and cause him to become more determined to change. Though he would have success, he would also fail again. We were almost to the point of running out of probable answers when I received inspiration from the Lord.

 

What Is My Calling?

I found my “calling” by trial and error. I tried some ministries and found they were not for me. But, I did not just wait around for God to send me some sign, a sunray from the sky, or for some other person to give me a “word from God” about what God wanted me to do. You will probably need to do the same. Don’t wait for something to happen, it may not.

 

 

Healing Is A Conscious Decision

Changing the way we think is up to us. We can choose to do so or just tell ourselves that we cannot change and therefore we won’t. Because God truly wants us to be transformed, He would not ask us to change the way we think if we really could not do so. The truth is that even though it may be a hard road and, at times, difficult, we can change our thinking. Philippians 4:13 teaches that we can do all things with the strength He gives us. This applies to difficult and uncomfortable things, as well as spiritual ones. This is truth. Even though we may struggle during the process, we can change any or all of our thinking.

 

Many Are Called, But Few Are Chosen

The counseling ministry is not for everyone, but it is for those who are willing to obey God’s call on their lives to serve. Many persons take the Counseling Training Course for different reasons, though not always to minister to others. It takes a special person to make this type of sacrifice. How special? well, read the article for the answer.

 

 Teen Dating Violence – Assistance

Marisol Lucio, FBCC (Faith-Based Christian Counselor), was tasked with putting together a shortlist of websites that offer assistance to teens, especially girls, in relation to dating violence. Read this and send us your suggestions as well.

 

The Power that Works In Us

I have a habit of searching for verses and passages within the Sacred Scriptures which catch my attention, and there are many. Each catches my attention, often, for different reasons. Usually, the reason is that the verse, or passage, seems to be saying (or teaching) more than what seems obvious. When this happens, questions pop into my head regarding what I just read, and I want to know the answers.

 

Religious Abuse

Spiritual abuse just as emotional abuse affects one emotionally, while physical abuse inflicts pain and bodily injury to its victim, spiritual abuse affects one spiritually. It is the result of a spiritual leader or system that tries to control, manipulate, or dominate a person. This control is often in the form of fear. This is considered a major factor in mind control/coercive (relating to or using force or threats) persuasion or thought reform. There are those who feel the latter comes into play in cases such as these, while others feel the thinking is in error. Regardless of where one stands on this, it does not lessen the effects of spiritual abuse.

Women Need to Learn to Love and Respect Themselves

Women with no self-respect and no self-love, see themselves as unworthy of anything good in their lives. They accept mistreatment, abuse, and rejection as normality. They are accustomed to being treated as worthless, therefore many believe they don’t deserve more. They become lazy and don’t strive for greater things. Their relationships become detrimental. They wind up hurting others and themselves. They do not love themselves and do not know-how.

 

Married Women Dealing With Abuse

Though I am not currently married, nor have I ever been, I felt drawn to write on this subject considering that it hits very close to home – with my mom. Also, I was told once that I was starting to take after her when it came to choosing the guys I would date. The thought of that frightened me. Not because I could end up with an abusive, manipulative, controlling man, but because I could probably become a woman who does not love herself enough to walk away.

 

How To Stay Angry

Here is a guaranteed formula on how to become a consistently angry person.
Be picky and finicky – Take pride in being a perfectionist. Some of the angriest people in the world are perfectionists.
Don’t listen to another person’s point of view – In discussions be concerned only with getting your own opinions across. One of the keys to being a consistently angry person is to be a poor listener.

 

Godly Love versus Human Love in Marriage

As a counselor, I have worked with many couples in my 28 years in this ministry. One thing I have learned that is the source of many conflicts between them is the mistaken idea of what they believe love means. When someone uses the word “love,” they are actually saying many other things.

 

My Spouse’s Relationship With Our Children

Conflict is a tool of change. People make changes, compromises, and adaptations based on the outcome of a conflict. Without conflict, things will remain the same forever. Stale relationships are just not interesting, nor do they prompt the person to improve the circumstances. Conflict will bring change, sometimes what we want, and sometimes what we do not want. The conflict between your child and spouse will produce a change. What the change will be is dependent on some of the factors described in this article.

 

“Key Words” in Counseling

Counseling is about hearing the words of a person and deciphering what they mean, so that the counselor may then use his or her own words to give instruction to that person on how to resolve their concerns. Words are “key” to effective counseling, and “keywords” are important to counseling effectively. In this article, I want to cover the issue of “Key Words” and how the counselor may use them.

Conflict Resolution, Before or After?

Conflict is best resolved when two persons are able to communicate their separate concerns and together are able to reach compromises that work in favor of the relationship. The question is, “Do I want to win or do I want us to win?”

Counselor Guides

on Sex
on Forgiveness
on Financial Problems 
on Depression
on Communication Issues
on Adultery, Infidelity, or an Affair?
on Abuse

8 Things Which Should Be Real in a Christian Counselor’s Life

Christian counselors should be people who live what they preach. The one trait that gets people to trust their counselor is that they believe the counselor counsels in the way the counselor lives. This means that if you want people to trust what you are going to tell them they should do about their problem, then you should be doing those things already. For example, we want the client to take steps to avoid future problems, right? Then we must also take steps to avoid future problems. For example, what will happen if you died tomorrow? Are your burial arrangements already worked out? Have you made sure that there is enough money to cover the expenses? What if you get hurt and cannot speak for yourself? Who will make the decisions for you? Do you even care?

The Use and Study of Valid Reasoning

Logic helps the counselor to make certain and specific conclusions which may be used to determine the probable root problem, and what steps must be taken to reach a healthy solution. For example, Julie presents that she and her husband, Pedro, have been fighting often lately. She argues that she cannot “put a finger” on what she thinks is the main reason for the constant arguing between themselves. She states that she is frustrated and getting weary of the constant fighting, to the point that she is considering a separation. Logic will help the counselor figure out something that may help resolve or at least reduce the conflict between these two people.

Perception

The “truth” is often clouded by the perception of the person. A client will always tell you one, or more, of three things when presenting their concerns to you.
1. What they believe the truth is concerning the behavior of other people (husband, wife, relative, friend, etc.).
2. What they believe the truth is concerning their own behavior in the circumstances presented.
3. What their worldview tells them is true about life in general, especially about themselves (that they are victims, failures, unfairly treated, etc.).

How to Read (Study) the Bible

Reading the Bible randomly does not provide the Biblical student with the best opportunity to learn the correct interpretation of the Word of God. This post touches on three basic areas of Bible reading (study) which will help the new Christian begin a life of productive, if not just enjoyable, Bible reading.

 

God’s Power Is In His Word

There is a movement today seeking for the manifestations of God. Speaking in tongues, being “slain in the Spirit,” prophecy (foretelling), “name it and claim it,” and other popular and similar things, draw in large crowds of people to popular churches. Why is this happening? Because people want to experience a “move of God,” His power.

 

Why You Should Study The Bible

As a Christian, I can only speak about us, and even then I can only speak of those who believe as I do.  I started off my Christian walk with lots of questions. Who and what is God? What is this thing called sin? Why are there so many groups and denominations within Christianity? What makes Christianity different, and maybe better than the rest? And, many, many, more questions.

 

Are Churches Training Members For Ministry?

Our churches are full of people who attend faithfully and participate in Sunday service with their songs and attentiveness. The problem is that only about ten percent of the people are active in some form of service at church (usher, teacher, choir, etc.), but even fewer are ministering in accordance with God’s calling on their lives. Ephesians 4:11-17 clearly instructs that the people be trained in accordance with their calling, so that, “By what every joint supplies, according to the proper working of each individual part, causes the growth of the body for the building up of itself in love.”

The Law of Practicing

What You Practice Becomes Part Of Your Character, And Your Character Proves Who You Really Are.

Customs and Traditions:
• People of different nations, cultures, races, and so forth, have different customs and traditions that they follow.
• These became customs and traditions because they were continually repeated by those peoples, week after week, month after month, and year after year.
• Many customs and traditions are followed just because they have been followed for so long that some of the people who follow them no longer even know why they do.

Proof That God Exists

I have been a Christian for about 33 years, and I have had the question asked of me many times. What is the proof that God exists? I have heard many variations of the same question as well. All the variations have the same idea in mind when asked by certain questioners. The argument is usually that there is no valid proof of the existence of God. One of those times that I was asked whether I could prove God’s existence, I answered that I could. The gentleman who asked the question almost rolled his eyes at me but instead smirked and challenged me to prove God to him. I smile at him for a moment and told him that he was confused. I explained that I said I could prove the existence of God, not that I could prove the existence of God to others. He argued that I knew what he was asking, but I argued that I could not read his mind any better than he could read mine.

True Change, True Benefits

When you allow change to take its course in your life, you will eventually come to accomplish that which you have always wanted, or at least be heading in the right direction. Those who do not take advantage of change will probably find a strange sort of comfort and security in the changelessness, but will always wonder, “what if.”

 

 Rules For My Life

I grew up angry. I will probably be an angry man the rest of my life, but I will not allow anger to control me. To accomplish this, I  developed personal rules which I follow in my daily life.
1. I am responsible for myself, my actions, and my choices.
2. I will not blame others for what I choose to do, or the results of what I did.
3. Other people do not owe me anything unless there has been a clear agreement ahead of time on what will be owed. (For example your job)

Should Marriage Have Rules?

 My wife and I married shortly after we met. We didn’t know what we were doing. We just knew we wanted to get married, so we did. Our first six years were miserable. We were separated the seventh year and going through a divorce. It was only by God’s mercy that our marriage was saved. That was 33 years ago (as of 2015). We have now been married for 40 years, and we got here the hard way. We both thank God for intervening in our lives and changing the course of our disastrous relationship.

 

Rules For The Home?

Before we were saved, my wife and I lived in a marriage full of troubles. Besides having no healthy rules for our marriage, we also had not healthy guidance for our home. Since our salvation, she and I have come to understand that a home without boundaries is a home that will produce confusion. Most of our societal ills stem from children growing up in homes without healthy direction and instruction. My wife and I decided that we did not want to continue to live in a home where confusion could rule. The answer to this is setting rules and guidelines that will govern our home and those who choose to come into it.

The Marriage Agreement Process

The Goal: Your goal is to solve problems, eliminate circumstances which may lead to problems, and to avoid future problems where you can.
Follow the process the way it is intended. Do not jump to a step further along without finishing the current step. If you change the process it may not work for you, and you may not accomplish what you hope for.
To begin with, let’s suggest some rules to follow for this process:
1. Make time to discuss the process and get started. This means, do not try to work on this process while dealing with children, household duties, and/or in a hurry. You will need to be able to concentrate patiently with each other. Do not schedule a time for this right before or after another event, such as a football game.

Pre-Marital Counseling Format

The purpose of this course is to acquaint the counselor with the tools used in pre-marital counseling.  This course is intended to be used as a stepping stone to knowledge, not an all-inclusive/comprehensive reference.
In counseling couples before marriage, the counselor should be prayed up and willing to listen to both the couple and the Lord.  It is important that the counselor be willing to listen and help the couple understand the step they are about to take.  Premarital counseling should always touch on each subject, with the couple gaining an understanding of what a marriage is.  Many problems that occur in marriages today occur because of a lack of premarital counseling.

What We Can Learn From Sheep

Or, How To Be A Better Pastor
1. Too many words confuse sheep. The shepherd learns the language that his sheep will recognize, then he uses that language to guide them around. The sheep learn the language and voice of the pastor, and they hear his voice when he calls to them. Harsh language disturbs sheep, while words of encouragement move them in the direction desired. ““I know my sheep and my sheep know me” (John 10:14)

Psalm 23

The 23^rd Psalm is a useful outline of the things we can learn about how God wants pastors to treat His people. He is the Shepherd, and we are His under-shepherds. The pastor who can grasp the leading of the Lord through this simple Psalm will gain the knowledge which God wants to be applied to His church. Those pastors will reap the benefits of obedience, and bring in more members as a result.

 

Belief Therapy

As A Christian Therapeutic Treatment Modality Dr. Paul Carlin, who was a Scripturologist, not a psychologist, introduced Belief Therapy to the public in November 1997. The modality was developed during his 20 years of restorative justice ministries in the Texas Prison System. He used the prisons as his laboratory and prisoners as his subjects. Carlin claims his basic premise can be traced to both the Old and New Testaments, that teach, “People do what they do because they believe what they believe,” i.e., “As a man thinks in his heart so is he.” (Proverbs 23:7) This modality utilized many of the characteristics of other styles of therapy but its distinctive quality is that it is founded on the truth of the Word of God, the Christian Bible.

True Change, True Benefits

Before we start to consider what it means to be transformed, we need to explore what it means not to be transformed. I like the way the (MSG) version puts it: “Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking.” The words “well-adjusted to your culture” are so right on. The idea behind these words is that the person (maybe you or me) reacts and/or responds according to the pattern we have already developed over our lifetime.

The Power of Prayer in Christian Counseling

Christian counseling is about applying the principles in God’s Word to the circumstances and situations presented by the clients. There are certain things that are known about most Christians who come to counseling. Of those things, it is their lack of knowledge concerning the Scriptures which stands out the most. The Christian who does not know his or her Bible is condemned to fail over and over.

 

Spiritual Warfare in Counseling

Spiritual “Warfare,” as such, and Christian counseling are mostly synonymous. Spiritual warfare has at its core the intent to conquer the works of the enemy, and Christian counseling does very much the same by helping the client learn effective and practical Biblical ways to conquer the works of the enemy in their lives. Spiritual Warfare begins with obeying God.

What Do You Believe?

How well do you know your Bible? Here is a simple test you can use to give yourself a good idea of your knowledge of the Word of God.

 

 

Success In Counseling

In one of my training classes, a man asked me what he would have to do to become a successful counselor. I started to answer in one way, but after thinking for a moment, I changed my intended response.

Success in counseling will depend on the counselor’s point of view. On the one hand, for example, one can count how many persons and couples come for counseling and how many of them finished the counseling with success in their case. Or, better said, that their time spent in counseling resulted in them accomplishing the goal they expected or desired to get. If one is going to measure his success in this manner, then the percentage of success will be around 60%, with the possibility of 65% at times. I don’t like those numbers.

Are You Preaching or Training?

As pastors and Bible teachers, included in our intentions for those we teach, we must desire to train them in the way that they should go. Helping people to come to know the Lord and be saved is only the first step. Training them is what is expected of those who lead people to the Lord. God is not only interested in “saving” people, but He also wants them trained to do the work He wants doing.