I was speaking with a police officer I know and we reached a point in our conversation where we compared our professions. Though I do not arrest anyone, there are some similarities. Among those was that we both tend to deal with people at their worst times. In his case, as with many other peace officers, he faces people who commit an offense of one type or another. Often, they try to lie to him to avoid the consequences. When they do not lie, they sometimes only share with him what they think will be in their own best interest. Sometimes, he has told me, they might even confess their wrongs to him to try to pull at his heartstrings so that he’ll let them go. He admitted that sometimes the technique works on him. “I more of a softy,” he told me coyly, “than I let on.” But, he did share something else with me, “At the same time, I have also learned to be suspicious of people.” His smile waned as he added, “I think that I have grown to trust people much less over the years.” Many times, he told me, he tries to avoid bringing up to people that he is a police officer so that they would just act normal around him. “That doesn’t always work the way I want,” he said sadly. Police officers have a high divorce rate, as well. Too many officers have taken their own lives.
Counselors Like Cops?
How are counselors like peace officers? Well, in my over 30 years of counseling, I have yet to have someone schedule a session with me to come and tell me how wonderful their lives are. The opposite is true. I see people at their worst. I deal with people who abuse, hurt, and violate the trust of those they claim to love. Some people come to the office and outright lie to me about why they are in my office. They will lie about the other people involved in their damaged situations while excusing themselves for their own actions. I have seen people promise their spouse, boy or girlfriend, and themselves that they will do this or that, or not do this or that, and immediately turn around and do wrong again anyway. And, to make matters worse, this is more prevalent than you may believe.
While I have not arrested anyone, I have confronted many persons in the midst of their lying. First, they continue lying. Then, when they see that the lies aren’t working, they turn on the waterworks. Some people will start crying large drops of tears to get you to believe them. Unfortunately, for them, I have grown cynical like my peace officer friend. What happens often, when I catch on that they are faking the tears, is that I start bringing up the things they have done, are, or were doing, to contribute to their problems. Usually, this produces anger on their part. They will try to convince me that they are right and that I am wrong about them. Once they come to the realization that I won’t be manipulated, they often concede and admit their errors. An “arrest” of sorts, hmm?
The Ugly Truth
The sad thing, just as with my Police officer friend, I have grown to expect people to lie, put up a false face, or do whatever is in their own best interest, and this, too many times at the expense of those they claim to love. I know the dark side of humans. I know the evil that lurks at the center of too many hearts. I have come to learn the hatred of people against each other, and too often against themselves as well. I have seen the face of selfishness itself. I have seen lives, families, children, and marriages, destroyed by the very people who should have been their greatest proponents. I have lifted the veil of the lies we tell ourselves about ourselves, peeked around the facade behind which we hide, I have learned the ugly truth of what we are capable of doing to do we “love.”
I have learned that humans are selfish, egocentric, self-centered, and will always do what they believe is in their own best interest (good and bad). Sadly, I have learned that too many humans are controllers who try to manage others through manipulation. Humans will justify some of the cruelest behavior against their own family members. Humans do to other humans terrible things which animals would not do to each other.
The Saving Grace
Yet, also like my Peace Officer friend, I do what I do because there are those people that I do help. Those whose lives change for the better due to counseling. Those who come with broken lives and tremendous problems, and leave with healed, changed, and mended lives. This is why I counsel; this is how God uses me. Bless His name.
