Changing The Pattern

IF YOU WANT THE SAME OLD THINGS TO KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU, THEN KEEP DOING THE SAME OLD THINGS.

1. For things to continue the way they’ve always been, do nothing different.
2. Change is not change until there has been change.
3. Hoping for change will change nothing.
4. Knowing the right thing to do, but not doing it, is the same as choosing the wrong thing to do on purpose.
5. Trying is not the same as doing.
6. Complaining without making changes is the same as wanting the problem to continue.
7. Regret and repentance are not the same. Regret means you’re sorry you were caught, repentance means you stop and don’t repeat the wrong even if no one else finds out about it.
8. Don’t waste time reminding yourself about all the things that are wrong or bad, concentrate on what you can do about them
9. Never tell yourself that there’s nothing else you can do about a problem, there is always something else that can be done.

ALWAYS TREAT OTHERS THE WAY YOU WOULD LIKE TO BE TREATED.

1. It is not how others treat you, but how you treat others, that tells much about you.
2. Your treatment of other people is your personal measurement of your relationship with God.

WHATEVER GOES AROUND, COMES AROUND

1. Good and bad, right and wrong, whatever we do will eventually happen to us as well.

PEOPLE ARE THE WAY THEY THINK

1. The way they think always, not just at a given moment.
2. Their belief decides how they think
3. Their behavior shows what they believe
4. Their character controls the way they behave
5. Their moral choices define their character
6. Their thinking affects their moral choices

PATTERNS

1. Everyone lives according to some pattern
2. Most people do not even realize that they are following a pattern.
3. If you asked them, they would tell you that they are unique and different from others.
4. But, if you placed them in the same circumstances and situations as others, it is much more probable that they would act as the others did than not.
5. Some people are aware of their pattern(s) and are better able to choose their responses than others.
6. The better a person understands their pattern, the better the chance that they can take control over it.
7. Not to know you are following a pattern or ignoring the fact that you are, has the same consequence, you are doomed to live by it.
8. If the pattern is defective or unhealthy then the outcome will always be defective or unhealthy.
9. People with unhealthy patterns, have unhealthy thoughts. Unhealthy thoughts produce unhealthy behavior. Unhealthy behavior produces unhealthy patterns. A vicious circle.
10. Client’s need to realize the pattern(s) of their life, both healthy and unhealthy.
11. Once a person can see the unhealthy parts of their life pattern, then they are better equipped to make the necessary changes.
12. To make the necessary changes the client needs to move backward in the lifeline until they can see where a particular part of the pattern began.
13. Once this is done they can then review the situation or circumstance and consciously decide how they could have done something different,      and even be able to imagine the results of the different choice.
14. This will help the client to realize that all their choices in the present will clearly affect their immediate and long-term future.
15. Armed with this they can become acutely conscious of what decisions and choices they really want to make.
16. Give the client cause and affect counseling.

CAUSE AND AFFECT COUNSELING

1. Use scripture whenever possible to give examples of individuals who because of specific choices had specific results.
2. Use everyday examples as well to give examples of individuals who because of specific choices had specific results.
3. Use Galatians 6:7, “Do not be deceived, God is not mocked, for whatever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.”
4. Explain to the client the process from this verse.

There is sowing: this is the thinking and believing part

There is the watering, pruning, and caring for the garden: this is the actions followed due to the thinking.

There is the Harvest: This is the results of the actions that followed the thinking.

4. Identify and use examples from the client’s life to show how they produced certain patterns and results in the client’s life.
5. Help the client to learn a healthier way of thinking (scripture, of course), so that they will start to behave differently and can then expect different results.
6. Use Romans 12:2, “And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect. “
7. Help the client to understand that the ONLY way to change an unhealthy pattern is to change the way they think.
8. The ONLY way the client will change the way he thinks is that he has to change and then control what he allows to affect his decision-making process.

NEW INFORMATION, NEW BELIEFS, NEW BEHAVIOR

1. Help the client identify new sources of “input” so that he can start adjusting his thinking, and therefore change his behavior, which will result in healthier results.