Counselor Guide on: Sex Issues

What are the Different Types of Sex Issues?

  1. The inability to perform, and/or discomfort.
  2. Emotional trauma resulting from sexual activity.
  3. The unwillingness to participate.
  4. The use of sex as a weapon.
  5. When is it okay to not have sex?
  6. Is it a right or a privilege?
  7. Sex “toys,” okay or not?

What are the Correct Responses?

  1. For numbers 1 and 2, above, the client should be referred to a medical physician for an initial examination. In reference to number 2, the counselor should follow up with counseling regarding trauma in the person’s younger years. The counseling make take time and effort on both the part of the client and the counselor. The goal must be to lead the client to healing. The use of Rev. Juan M. Pérez’s “The Process of Healing,” should be included.
  2. For 3 and 4, the counselor should concentrate on marital issues which are affecting the couple. Likely, the counselor may identify problems regarding a lack of, if not a complete failure, of a healthy communication between the two persons. Circumstances such as infidelity, adultery, or deception must be considered. As well, concerns of abuse and other similar maltreatment should be investigated.
  3. For 5, the counselor and the client(s) should refer to the Scriptures for clarification (1 Corinthians 7). In addition, there are certain physical circumstances which must be considered, such as, the “time of the month,” illness, fatigue, emotional trauma (i. e. the death of a loved one), and so on.
  4. For 6, the question regards not only whether both partners in a marriage have the right to sex from their spouses, but how often, and in what manner (i. e. positions, locations, “toys,” etc.). The first part is a right, but the second part is a privilege. Privileges are earned, or at least they should.
  5. For 7, the question is more about personal concern for physical harm, adequacy, embarrassment, and satisfaction. The counselor should refer the client to a doctor for a physical examination regarding what may be okay and not cause harm. In addition, the counselor should question the couple regarding issues of their mutual satisfaction with sex when “toys” are not included.


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